I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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