it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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