at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
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