It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
i've created a new STD.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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