I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
