it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
