I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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