What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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