i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
