Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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