3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
