i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
