I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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