I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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