im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
