May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
