This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
