he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
