If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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