So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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