Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
