I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
