Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Randomize