I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
