i would punch a child for taco bell
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Bring me that man meat
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
