when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
There are leaves in my underwear?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
