playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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