I wish I could teleport
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
