you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
