But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
