Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
