To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
