But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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