3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
