Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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