Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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