Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
