this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
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