just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
