ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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