there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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