why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Randomize
