This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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