i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
