It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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