It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
