If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
