Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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