I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
