Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
