i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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