Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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