Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I believe in your delicious
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
